Please...have a seat on my couch.

I was recently contacted by an anonymous reader. She was wanting my advice on a situation she's currently involved in. I'll admit that I was scared to death about replying to her email. I didn't want to offend her or give advice that completely screwed things up for her. Lucky, I did neither. She gave me her permission to use her email to supplement my advice.


Hi there!
I have been reading your blog & thought it was very interesting!! My husband is a good caring hard working man however our sex life has dwindled, we have tried lots of different ways to spice it up but i think it is me, i just don't find him physically attractive.

I can relate to the issue of the sex at home not being good and then finding someone who literally rocks your world. The euphoria goes straight to your head, and all you can think about is the next meeting. It's almost like an addiction. You're always wanting that "high" from the earth-shattering orgasms. But I'll be honest with you... that high eventually becomes routine.

For years at my workplace i really fancied this guy, although we work in the same place both of us part time, we rarely come into contact with each other. Over the past 2 years i tried to make eye contact with him while working,and each time our shift was over, bear in mind we rarely worked together, i fantasized about him, on our breaks we used to talk about our private lives but that was it, there was no other interest but i liked his personality.I was always thrilled when i was told i would be on his floor, but always left frustrated, trying to think of a way how i could show him i was interested.

One evening i had enough and knew i had to do something, so at the end of the shift, i gave him my e-mail address and said if ever you would like to talk some more about your problems, you can e-mail me, he looked surprised and took it.A few days later i was absolutely thrilled to find an e-mail from him, my heart was beating fast, we began exchanging e-mails.

Anyway he returned my mail and said he was interested too, so we started meeting up, to cut a long story short, we have been seeing each other about once every 10 days. I meet him locally and then we go back to his place and oh my goodness, the sex is absolutely amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine the chemistry, we are sooooooo crazy together sexually, 100% compatible. The way he makes love is out of this world. The day after i feel like i am on this cloud, on another planet, everything is aching, i have massive orgasms that are like fits. Never did i imagine i would experience fairytale sex.

I can only speak from my own personal experiences, and after almost two years of having affairs I can say that the "high" for me has worn off. I've been lucky enough to find The One who satisfies me and returns my feelings. Feelings are the tricky thing about having affairs. It can be so easy to confuse those earth-shattering orgasms with love.

The sex is that brilliant that sometimes for 2 - 3 days, my lower region feels like it is full, i don't mean inside, it just feels like all the blood has rushed there and hasn't moved, it sometimes can be uncomfortable, it is because i think of the massive intense orgasms i experience, i have been asleep for soooo long.

Anyway time has passed, it is around 3 months and we met up again a few evenings ago, once again mind blowing sex.The dilemma is he has made it clear to me from the beginning he doe snot want any commitment. I asked him what he thinks of me and he says i am special but just a good friend.My feelings for him are different, i do love him, i feel very linked to him, we are worlds apart.

Your friend is like many, many men out there. He's had his go at commitment and things didn't work out. I'm not saying that he can't commitment, but he's not wanting to jump from one relationship to another. It's the old school saying "he's playing the field". I know you love him but you have to ask yourself... what happens when he does return that love and asks you to leave your husband.

I read your blogs and see you are very open minded, how can i make him more attached to me, do you have any bedroom tips. He loves oral but i can't get his dick deep in my mouth, i can only get the end bit in or i feel my teeth touching it, he admitted that i had hurt him a bit.

As for keeping him happy... not many men enjoy teeth but it's all in the technique. I've been known to lightly run my teeth up the length of a man's cock. The trick is not to apply any pressure. That same goes for teeth and the tip of his cock. Instead of trying to give him an old-fashioned blowjob (since he sounds to be well endowed), trying licking him. Think of his cock as a lollipop and see how many licks it takes to get to the "center". Now there are other ways of keeping him happy without giving him a blowjob. Caress him. Tickle him. Tease him. Send him pictures like the HNT ones I've and other have taken. Anything you can think of that makes him think of you throughout the day. So when you do meet he can't wait to get you in bed. It's the unexpected that get men going the most... at least in my experiences.

Can you offer me any sexual advice so i can really keep him happy, i would not want him to go with anybody else, he said the same about me, he said he would be very jealous, its like he doesn't want me but he doesn't want anybody else to have me.

But I must be truthful with you, if he hasn't returned your love in this amount of time then I'm afraid that he never will. Pleasing him more in bed isn't going to make him love you; it's only going to make him want the fucking more. Give him more variety or orgasms doesn't equal love. Showing love comes from little touches that's not related to sex; it's that unexpected kiss or smile during the day; it's not related to the bedroom.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I don't mean to offend you with anything I've said, but I felt it was best to be honest. When having affairs while being married, it's best to keep things "light and friendly". Having only one person in the affair with feelings of love usually makes it difficult to keep the friendship. Making sure you have a friend and not just a "fuck buddy" will make a world of difference in your relationship.